Category — Buttered Bagels

Granddaddy and Duchess

Not long ago I was driving along and I noticed a bumper sticker on the car in front of me. I can’t recall exacly what it said but the following is proximal:

“Do not worry about whether or not your children listen to what you say. Worry that your children see what you do.”

I immediately thought of the babies and what they might be learning not from what I say, but from what I do. I thought of what my parents taught me. And when I think back, they really did teach me a lot. And most of it just by going through their daily lives. They weren’t big on the “son, it’s time we had a talk about the birds and bees” pow-wow sessions. In fact, the heart to hearts didn’t really start happening until I was out of college. And usually, I initiated those conversations. But nonetheless, I have learned and am still learning so much from my parents.

They celebrated another wedding anniversary a last June. They’ve been married for 50 years. Contemplating that, I felt a little pride brew up. Not that this accomplishment, if you can or should even call it that, was mine. I just felt like my parents have been able to do something which is difficult. In that moment of pride I posted they’d been married for 50 years on Facebook. The general response was overwhelmingly positive and folks seemed to be “wowed” by it. Which got me to thinking even more. Should a long marriage create such a wow-factor? [Read more →]

People keep asking, so I’ll say it: fear over Instagram’s terms change is ridiculous… Get real folks!

— Tom Anderson (@myspacetom) December 20, 2012

To which @polotapia responded: says the guys who couldn’t keep a social network alive

@polotapia says the guy who sold myspace in 2005 for $580 million while you slave away hoping for a half-day off

— Tom Anderson (@myspacetom) December 20, 2012

@polotapia has since taken down his post and profile.

I’m getting older. Can’t say it’s all fun and games. Shoot, let’s be real. No part of it is fun. Well, at least not the physical part. Knowing more and more stuff that I didn’t know before is kind of cool. I’ll take that. But the physical changes? Ugh!

I’ll say this though. I won’t age gracefully. I’m going to fight Father Time in a dark alley with a small bat and brass knuckles. He won’t get the best of me. I’ll Rogaine him, fish oil him, floss my teeth every night him. He won’t stand a chance. I’ll even make really random goals like being the strongest old person in America. Whatever, I’m not going out without fight.

I have made half-hearted attempts at going Paleo in the past but now I think I’m really going to give it a go. The hardest thing for me to give up will be the bread, pizza and bagels. (Wait, that’s all bread right?) But I’ve now heard from enough people and listened to their anectdotal evidence to jump in with both feet.

I put together this little example menu inspired by an old diet plan Lee Labrada published years ago. I just fixed up to suit my Paleo and my athletic needs. Sometimes, those two things are in conflict but I try to resolve them as best I can. One thing I definitely took to heart is Cordain’s 85/15 rule where he states in The Paleo Answer,

…if you are 85% compliant with the diet most of the time, significant improvements in your health can occur. The other 15%… are open meals, meaning you can choose to eat a normal amount that fall outside the diet plan.

Trust me. I’m going to take full advantage of that little Paleo loophole. I listed my typical cheats in a section on the diet plan. Let me know what you think of the thing and I welcome any feedback, comments or suggestions.

breakfast of champions… sort of.

Just a thought. But the dude with the XXL one-pack, ordering the plain egg white omelette and raisin bran muffin, might think twice about telling the dude with the six-pack that bacon is unhealthy. I’m just saying.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you have to look a certain way or possess a certain something to know what you’re talking about. Not at all. [Digression: The one-time Miami Dolphins kicking coach, never actually kicked a ball because he was bound to a wheelchair due to cerebral palsy. His kickers were All-Pros.] What I’m saying is you have to know what you’re talking about, to know what you’re talking about. Too often, folks are ready to go off half-cocked and shout advice or declare a position having done no reading or research from credible sources. Or even for one second carefully mulled over the information in front of them. Information floats in the air, penetrates their ears, gets passed around like one of those funny hand-rolled cigarattes and it becomes “common knowledge”. Eventually, everyone knows you’re not supposed to do this or that, or that thing over there causes cancer or take this and you’ll get all the girls. Whatever, man.

In my humble opinion, if you’re going to share your info, at least have tested it in the world or on yourself. Has the maple syrup and lemon juice diet helped you get a body like Jessica Biel? If it hasn’t, and you thought or were told it would, you have to question the diet. Did flipping single family homes make you yacht, private plane and trips to the French Riviera rich? Or did it leave you with a negative net worth? Either way, do your research. Experiment. Before you share.

The ironic thing is had my friend in line been a Paleo Pusher, he would have attacked my meal from the butter-loaded bagel angle. He would have told me that Paleolithic man would never eat bread and we are not built to do so. He would have said, bagels (wheat, gluten, et. al.) are a slow death and butter only hastens the inevitability. If I was in the mood, which I wasn’t with the bacon dude this morning, I might have asked Mr. P. Pusher, “Are you sure Paleo man never never EVER ate bread? Are you sure? I mean do we even know what Paleo man was let alone what he ate? Is butter really all that bad for you?”

Hopefully, Mr. P. Pusher would have based his viewpoint on something he read and experimented with instead of hearing it from the guy who heard it from the guy at some other guy’s son’s bar mitzvah. Hopefully too he’d be open to an opposing point of view and open to testing his presently held belief. Had the bacon dude asked he would have learned, I’ve been through the internal bacon battle and back. I’ve done the research and the experimentation on myself. I have eaten it and not. Praised it and scorned it. And after the long drawn tug of war, what I’ve concluded is, life is just better with bacon!

Now, my battle is with bagels (grains, wheat, whatever…). Butter-loaded bagels. With mounting evidence against continuing my relationship with my beloved, I have to consider the possibility she is no good for me. But, I will not just except what the dude, who knows the dude, who knows the bar mitzvah dude says. I’m doing the research and the experimentation before I make any judgment or completely break it off. Until such time, if it ever comes, we will go on the occassional date.

The gift giving season is upon us and if you’re like me this time of year gives you as much anxiety as it does joy. For me at least, there is some guilt associated with taking gifts from my loved ones when all I really want is to spend some QT with them. For me, I’d rather have their time than some token. I feel like their time is worth so much more. Then there’s the other side of the coin. Finding that perfect gift for those I love so dearly. The process can be an extremely stressful situation. Most of that stress, at least for me, is wrapped up in notion that whatever gift I give, it can never represent what I truly feel for the receiver. But I cannot help it. I want the receiver to feel I care deeply and if I could I would wrap that in a pretty box and put a bow on it.

There’s a simple solution to all this holiday stress. Just tell me what you want! Kids have no problem writing or telling their wish list. So why can’t we adults do the same? And don’t say, “Oh, you don’t have to get me anything” or “Whatever you get is fine”. Can you spell bull-ish? Remember the Hide-Your- House-Key-In-A-Rock I got for you or the Never Ending Candle Bowl? You hated those gifts. So just tell me what you want and it will make both our lives simpler. I know there’s only a few days left ’til the big day, but there’s still time.

Even though I stress out about getting my peeps gifts, I don’t stress about what I will get. I could not possibly care less. If I see everyone around me smiling and happy and stuffed from sweet potato pie, then I’m happy. I get things you can’t put a value on, every day. (Sometimes I forget but I eventually remember. Thanks fam.) So when I say, “You don’t have to get me anything” or “Whatever you get me is fine”, I really truly mean it. You’ve already given me so much. Like many of the single dads I talk to, we have an appreciation for the little things and just want those things to remain intact. Being with our family is the perfect gift.

But… (did you see it coming?)

We single dads are a caring lot and know you might be stressing out about getting us a gift, despite our most convincing arguments we have all we want. So, I’ve decided to put together a short list of items that ANY single dad would want. Rest assured, most of us would be more than happy to get one just of these items and not necessarily on the big day. So feel free, family and friends, to pool your resources and buy his gift after the big day when everything is properly priced at deep discounts. The single dad in your life will feel less guilty accepting his gift. To the list:

1. Olympic weightlifting shoes or…

source: Rogue Fitness

There is no way any self-respecting father wouldn’t appreciate the proper footwear designed to assist him in lifting heavy items. Sure, he can get by doing that stuff barefoot or in his old sneaks from college, but I’m sure he would appreciate the hard soled support Olympic weightlifting shoes provide. And given is low-key nature, he isn’t too particular about which kind you get him, he’d be appreciative in any circumstance but man those Nike Romaleos look mighty fine. [Read more →]