The Rewards of Fatherhood

Ben doing a muscle up

Just an excuse to post a pic of me doing CrossFit. What’s CrossFit you ask? In less than 100 words, CrossFit is:

Eat meat and vegetables, nuts and seeds, some fruit, little starch and no sugar. Keep intake to levels that will support exercise but not body fat. Practice and train major lifts: Deadlift, clean, squat, presses, C&J, and snatch. Similarly, master the basics of gymnastics: pull-ups, dips, rope climb, push-ups, sit-ups, presses to handstand, pirouettes, flips, splits, and holds. Bike, run, swim, row, etc, hard and fast. Five or six days per week mix these elements in as many combinations and patterns as creativity will allow.Routine is the enemy. Keep workouts short and intense. Regularly learn and play new sports.

- Coach Glassman, CrossFit Founder

Oh, and don’t pay attention to the ashy knees.

The Babies after school

I have had the same cell phone for probably 7 years or so. A Palm Treo 650. In fact, I had two. When the first starting bugging out and the keys on the keyboard kept sticking, I just went to eBay and bought the next one.  It did it’s job for me. I could text, make calls, set my calendar, search the internet and perform a few other key functions. There hasn’t been a need to update the phone until recently.

The phone finally died. Multiple drops will bring any cell phone to it’s knees. I reluctantly picked up a new phone from my local AT&T wireless dealer. Honestly, I never really see the need to pick up the latest in technology since it always seems five minutes later something newer and better and faster and cheaper comes out. At least in this case, I had no real choice. Fortunately, I was able to get a well regarded/reviewed phone for free after rebate – the Nokia E71x.

My initial reaction was, “I hate this thing!” It just isn’t as intuitive as the Palm. But I said, hey I will get used to it. I can’t beat the price. The alternative (Blackberry Bold) was $150 after rebate. Free is better. All that said, I’m in love with the phone now. Well love is kind of strong. I really like the phone. Of course this is in comparison to a relative tech dinosaur, but hey. What won me over was the photos it takes. The above caption of the babies was taken with the Nokia. Ironically, the photo capability was the one knock against the phone. They must have improved it since it’s debut. I couldn’t be more satisfied (actually maybe I could but I’m not that picky).

Given the season, I’m a little more introspective than at other times of the year. I tend to think about the little things. After taking this pic of the babies I just contemplated, “Wow, ain’t technology cool.” I can just snap a candid moment at any time and then share it with my family, or friends, or their mom or anyone interested in my latest tweet. Although it seems like a little thing, I hope to keep some of these shots in safekeeping so when the babies get older they’ll remember moments, fun moments we/they had while growing up. My new Nokia will certainly help in that regard.

So, of the many things I’m thankful for in my life (and I’ll be reciting them before dinner tomorrow) I’m thankful for cell phone cameras. If you’re reading this, have a Happy Thanksgiving.

Me, Thing One, Maria and Coach Bill$

I read an article in the Wall Street Journal called This Is Your Brain Without Dad. Scientists studied rodents called degus whose brains react similarly to humans’ brains to environmental stimuli. These scientists attempted to observe what happens when fathers are taken out of the picture. And the verdict was:

1. When deprived of their father, the degu pups exhibit both short- and long-term changes in nerve-cell growth in different regions of the brain.
2. Their preliminary analysis indicates that fatherless degu pups exhibit more aggressive and impulsive behavior than pups raised by two parents.

In other words when degus where deprived of their fathers care (licking, preening, snuggling) the degus suffered brain damage. The study also showed short absences of fathers away from pups was less damaging than long or permanent absences. The study also goes on to say that the pups continued this brain damaged state into adulthood. I will let you read the article to get the explanation as to the science-y reasons any of this happens.

It got me to thinking, am I causing my kids brain damage? I’ve tried my best to form my schedule where I can spend as much time with the babies as possible. To a degree, I’m successful but not without a lot of sacrafice in other areas of my life. But even with that effort my non-parenting obligations simply don’t neatly conform to a court ordered 50/50 custody schedule.

Inevitably, I’m spending guilt-filled time away from the babies. Although the babies are much better off than most children of split marriages/relationships in that they see both of their parents consistently and frequently, it’s still not ideal. The article was a swift reminder I need to be diligent in carving out time with the girls, both quality and quantity. There are a few things I try to do and would suggest for any parent, especially parents who do not live with the children 100% of the time:

Choose your companion well.  Eddie Murphy once joked the secret to relationship happiness is finding someone as f’d up as you and settling down. [Read more →]

T-One Hard At Work

Earlier this school year I received T-One’s NJ ASK scores which test elementary school age children in NJ in language arts and math. The scores are grouped into three categories: “partially proficient” (which is just a pc way to say that the child scored below standard), “proficient” and “advanced proficient”. T-One scored at the upper end of the “proficient”. I must admit when I saw the scores I was both a little surprised and a little disappointed. The girl does so many things so well and things seem to come so naturally to her that it comes as a small shock when she’s deemed “average” at anything.

Of course as parents we think our kids are extraordinary at everything, both good and bad. In my mind, no kid is a better athlete than T-One, no kid is more creative than C-Thunda and no kids are more beautiful than either of them. There’s also the flip side. No kids get into more mischief or are as sassy or are as hair-grayingly maddening as my children. They are extraordinary in every way. But average they ain’t. At least, in my mind.

So when I opened the envelope containing T-One’s NJ ASK scores, I was a little baffled. [Read more →]

My webservice updated to a newer version of WordPress and in the process many of the links and functions (i.e. print button) are not working. I’ll try and fix it asap.

Oh and I will be back to regular posting. I have been preoccupied with the normal course of life so I haven’t been posting like I should. More to come.

What a great father/daughter moment. The below article is from Yahoo.com:

Push aside Tim Lincecum and his puppy and reset the adorable meter! This clip of Emily Monforto tossing away a baseball like an old Tastykake wrapper during Tuesday’s game against Washington is currently sweeping the Internet and broadcast world. (Not to mention inspiring at least 842,345 “hey, she’s just training for the day she starts throwing Duracells” and “maybe mom is a Cubs fan” jokes.)

The three-year-old’s direct disposal came directly after her dad Steve made a great grab of his first foul ball and was followed by an “Isn’t She Lovely?” hug that will melt even the darkest heart. I’d say so much for having a family keepsake, but watching as your darling daughter steals the hearts of every highlight show and blog definitely makes for a much better memory. 

UPDATE: NBC Philadelphia just caught up with the Monfortos. Steve says that he and Emily often play catch at home and that her throw was natural instinct kicking in:

“I think she was startled by the reaction of the fans around us — there was a collective gasp,” said Monforto. “She was also startled by the look on my face. I just wanted to let her know it was OK — that she didn’t do anything wrong.”