The Rewards of Fatherhood, Fitness and Frugality

Me, Thing One, Maria and Coach Bill$

I read an article in the Wall Street Journal called This Is Your Brain Without Dad. Scientists studied rodents called degus whose brains react similarly to humans’ brains to environmental stimuli. These scientists attempted to observe what happens when fathers are taken out of the picture. And the verdict was:

1. When deprived of their father, the degu pups exhibit both short- and long-term changes in nerve-cell growth in different regions of the brain.
2. Their preliminary analysis indicates that fatherless degu pups exhibit more aggressive and impulsive behavior than pups raised by two parents.

In other words when degus where deprived of their fathers care (licking, preening, snuggling) the degus suffered brain damage. The study also showed short absences of fathers away from pups was less damaging than long or permanent absences. The study also goes on to say that the pups continued this brain damaged state into adulthood. I will let you read the article to get the explanation as to the science-y reasons any of this happens.

It got me to thinking, am I causing my kids brain damage? I’ve tried my best to form my schedule where I can spend as much time with the babies as possible. To a degree, I’m successful but not without a lot of sacrafice in other areas of my life. But even with that effort my non-parenting obligations simply don’t neatly conform to a court ordered 50/50 custody schedule.

Inevitably, I’m spending guilt-filled time away from the babies. Although the babies are much better off than most children of split marriages/relationships in that they see both of their parents consistently and frequently, it’s still not ideal. The article was a swift reminder I need to be diligent in carving out time with the girls, both quality and quantity. There are a few things I try to do and would suggest for any parent, especially parents who do not live with the children 100% of the time:

Choose your companion well.  Eddie Murphy once joked the secret to relationship happiness is finding someone as f’d up as you and settling down. [Read more →]

T-One Hard At Work

Earlier this school year I received T-One’s NJ ASK scores which test elementary school age children in NJ in language arts and math. The scores are grouped into three categories: “partially proficient” (which is just a pc way to say that the child scored below standard), “proficient” and “advanced proficient”. T-One scored at the upper end of the “proficient”. I must admit when I saw the scores I was both a little surprised and a little disappointed. The girl does so many things so well and things seem to come so naturally to her that it comes as a small shock when she’s deemed “average” at anything.

Of course as parents we think our kids are extraordinary at everything, both good and bad. In my mind, no kid is a better athlete than T-One, no kid is more creative than C-Thunda and no kids are more beautiful than either of them. There’s also the flip side. No kids get into more mischief or are as sassy or are as hair-grayingly maddening as my children. They are extraordinary in every way. But average they ain’t. At least, in my mind.

So when I opened the envelope containing T-One’s NJ ASK scores, I was a little baffled. [Read more →]

My webservice updated to a newer version of WordPress and in the process many of the links and functions (i.e. print button) are not working. I’ll try and fix it asap.

Oh and I will be back to regular posting. I have been preoccupied with the normal course of life so I haven’t been posting like I should. More to come.

What a great father/daughter moment. The below article is from Yahoo.com:

Push aside Tim Lincecum and his puppy and reset the adorable meter! This clip of Emily Monforto tossing away a baseball like an old Tastykake wrapper during Tuesday’s game against Washington is currently sweeping the Internet and broadcast world. (Not to mention inspiring at least 842,345 “hey, she’s just training for the day she starts throwing Duracells” and “maybe mom is a Cubs fan” jokes.)

The three-year-old’s direct disposal came directly after her dad Steve made a great grab of his first foul ball and was followed by an “Isn’t She Lovely?” hug that will melt even the darkest heart. I’d say so much for having a family keepsake, but watching as your darling daughter steals the hearts of every highlight show and blog definitely makes for a much better memory. 

UPDATE: NBC Philadelphia just caught up with the Monfortos. Steve says that he and Emily often play catch at home and that her throw was natural instinct kicking in:

“I think she was startled by the reaction of the fans around us — there was a collective gasp,” said Monforto. “She was also startled by the look on my face. I just wanted to let her know it was OK — that she didn’t do anything wrong.”

I’ve recently been reading alot about the intagible force some of us posses to be able to push through adversity when it presents itself. Thing One displayed the force during her 9th birthday party. She was sick as a dog and literally wanted to cancel her own birthday party. But she pulled through not to disappoint all the folks who were “depending” on her to be happy about her birthday.

Thing One: Birthday Trooper

After witnessing her valiant effort, I thought to myself, man I want to be like Thing One when I grow up. She has the wherewithal to ignore her own discomfort for the sake of others’ comfort. I don’t know where she picked that up from but isn’t it a neat trait. Trooper!

Next time around I hope she feels better. Or at least doesn’t feel like she’ll be disappointing others if she happens to allow herself to be sick. What a great kid.

[Interesting side note: I told her I bought her two books today. She was so appreciative she said she would pay me back the $14 in installments. I told her there was no need for payback. What a great kid!]

Maria... working; photo courtesy: Guerrilla Fitness

Suzanne Somers has a goal. She wants to be sexy and sultry and still looking like she’s in her 40’s at the ripe old age of 110. But her path to get there is somewhat unusual.

Suzanne’s path, featured in Newsweek magazine with a cover that read, “Crazy Talk: Oprah, Wacky Cures and You”, was quite amusing. The article chronicled Oprah’s guests, Suzanne among them, and their questionable health and fitness advice. I think what the article correctly points out is these folks’ mere appearance on Oprah’s show lend them instant credibility. It’s a testament to Oprah’s influence. An influence surpassed by very few.

In particular the article talks about Suzanne and her, to put it mildly, alternative approach to staying youthful including inserting hormones directly into her vagina. The article clearly paints Suzanne and many other celebrity and pseudo-health care professional guests of Oprah as a little wacky to say the least.

What’s clearly evident, and the article only confirms this, is that we are all looking for answers. But there is something peculiar about the human condition where we will shun the simple for the complex. Seems to me, Suzanne and Oprah’s typical guest and Oprah fans are either touting or looking for a magic pill. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not picking on Oprah and her followers. They reflect the thoughts and desires of most of us – we want the easy way out. When it comes to our bodies and our longevity, this is especially true. For women who want to take a few years off their appearance, Oprah will have some dude come on her show willing to sew, with a needle and thread, someones face tighter. But I’ll let you go read the article.

There are plenty of healthy and youthful looking people in the world. And the vast majority of them have followed some similar path to getting there. What is the common denominator?

Work.

It’s pretty much that simple. [Read more →]